Protected Polar Bears Will Kill Us All
Polar bears are now a registered 'endangered species' in America.
Personally I think it is a foolish decision. Polar bears are the only animal which has a specific strategy for hunting humans. They know to back us into a corner. Which is impressive but not as impressive as finding a corner to back us into on the vast ice planes in the first place. Perhaps they construct film set-esq corners into which to drive us. I wonder whether they make different corners depending on who you are, to make it easy to drive you in there?
Whether they look at us and think "Hmm, sharp suit, smells of coke and holding a blackberry; I better make it look like an over-priced penthouse"
or
"Hmm, skinny jeans, skinny face and asymmetric haircut; I better make it look like Hoxton"
or
"Hmm, stupid floppy hair, insane grin and inexplicable grip of power; I better make it look like London's City Hall."
I can't help wondering why they have been declared endangered in the States, I would have thought that in terms of rapidly disappearing American species the priority would be slim, intelligent people.
I wonder why they decided on Polar Bears instead of, I don't know, tigers or something else you don't see too often on the subway. Perhaps they made large contributions to George Bush's election campaign and he's finally getting around to thanking them.
No, it's Polar Bears and I have to assume it's because they have difficulty hailing cabs, don't like hot dogs and lost relatives in 9/11.