Hypocrite Oath
When people divorce things sometimes get a little unpleasant. Especially on the 'who gets what' side of things. Often if there is some animosity, there can be a degree of deliberate cruelty in taking something you know your soon to be 'ex' really values, even if you don't want it yourself.
However, while you might be thinking about CDs, pictures or silverware, one Dr Richard Batista (America) has taken things to a whole new level. He is demanding his wife returns the kidney he donated to her. Yes, he wants his kidney back.
The anatomy of greed
Presumably if she gets custody of the children, he is going to ask that the Y chromosomes he contributed to help produce them be extracted and returned to him in a jar labeled 'idiot'.
Of course he doesn't want the kidney back, he's using it as leverage to sue for more money. So I think she should call his bluff. She should leave the kidney outside his house on a plate (assuming he doesn't have a dog) and knock on his door. I'm sure the look on his face when he opens the door will be priceless, giving her a burst of hilarity and vital moral victory as her body starts to shut down.
Fortress of Deception
There is a cold-blooded, heartless killer among us. There is one who cares not for love or life or joy but exists only to bring pain and misery. Worse still, its hideous nature, and true dark intent are hidden beneath a brightly coloured veneer, masked by children's smiles; and the smell of rubber.
In the past our society has been threatened by war, internal conflict and even natural disaster, despite what Michael Fish said; but never before have we faced such an insidious threat, never have we faced a foe which strikes so brazenly at that which we hold so dear; our precious little children.
This is no greasy-skinned, combed-over, filthy rain-coated predator with a pocket full of sweets and the promise of puppies. No, far worse this horrid fiend is invited into homes by parents themselves, given freedom of the garden and the children are actively encouraged to play with them.
Yes. I'm talking about the bouncy castle. Fortress of inflatable deception. Keep of lies. Battlements of bashed kids.
In the gardens of well-meaning parents across the country, every day, children are left alone and vulnerable to the not-so-tender mercies of these rubber Hitlers. For too long those children, who have disappeared into the folds of rubber and never been seen again, who have bounced awkwardly and gone bald, who have collided mid-air with other infants and been turned into inoperable Siamese twins, have been our conveniently forgotten shame. Today, they found their voice.
Finally as reported by the BBC, someone has had the good sense to realise that if a child is hurt on or near a bouncy castle, the only way to cope is to sue the people who hired it. Thank the Lord. It is only in this sensible, non-reactionary, logic-based, greed-free way that this evil can be beaten.
Some will say it is the parents responsibility to safeguard their children, others will say that if a child is injured playing football, no-one is going to sue the owner of the ball. To these people I say shame on you. SHAME.
Let this evil end. Today.