I’m not asking if you know what it’s like living with the Incredible Hulk because I know what that would be like. Your time would be spent between the self-centred mood swings and incomprehensible quantum musings of Dr Banner and very expensive re-construction bills.

Neither am I asking you whether you have any idea what it would be like living with Kermit The Frog. I know that would make getting up in the morning a breath of joy as his joyfully light-hearted, life-proof spirit lifted even the darkest clouds. Although, thinking about the possibility of Miss Piggy coming around, that might be difficult. You know when you’re flat-sharing and your flat-mate has a ‘special friend’ and they are in the bedroom? And you can hear them? I think if I could hear Miss Piggy and Kermit I would be quite mentally scarred. I’m not sure anything prepares you for that.

Neither am I asking you what it might be like to live with the Jolly Green Giant. That would be ridiculous, he doesn’t exist, he’s just a cartoon advert.

No I’m talking 'eco-green'. These days most people are at least some shade of green but those, like my special girl, who have always been green, used to be mocked as silly hippies who valued badgers over people and had all the scientific understanding of ham. But it turned out they were right.

They were right. And so a nod of appreciation because not once have I heard an “I told you so” or anything like it, from her any other long-term green. They’re just happy to see you buying energy saving light bulbs.

Can you imagine if any other group, with a huge number of devotees but nevertheless ignored by the mainstream had finally been proved right? If for example, the Jehovah’s Witnesses actually had some scientific evidence to point to? Can you imagine how unbearable they would be? They’re already on my doorstep most weekend mornings. I imagine I would wake up and they’d be sitting on the end of the bed pointing at a grainy but independently validated photo of Christ walking on water juggling eight hundred loaves of fish. They would be talking in tongues but I would understand. Then I would realise I wasn’t on the bed but a huge wooden crucifix; and burnt into the top of the cross would be one word...‘See?’