Red hot sex! Win a million!! Just click here!!!
That's something I don't usually do on principle, so sick am I of their flashing and blinking and looping animations, clawing at my peripheral vision like a tiny but persistent eye crab, desperate for attention.
Click here!! Go on!!! Do it!!!! Click me!!!!!! You idiot.
So today I clicked, just to see what great leaps advertising had taken with this, the most zeitgeisty (yes that is a word, becasue I say so) of media.
So here's the report: It's crap.
"Click to see more pictures". Wow, pictures, that's pretty advanced, I've never seen anything like that before, except perhaps on the inside of caves.
"Click here for video" Gosh! Moving pictures! Now there's innovation. They'll be mass producing sliced bread next.
So anyway, there you go, you're not missing anything. I'll check back in five years and let you know about any developments. Who knows, maybe they'll be working towards some clever way of recording sounds so we can replay them at our leisure. That's probably just science fiction though.
Red Hot XXX Nun Action!
"PHHHWOAARRRRR LOOK AT THE HABIT ON THAT!!"
"COR BLIMEY I WOULDN'T MIND A RUB OF THAT ROSARY."
Yummy Nunny
Nuns eh? Come on...oh, you don't think of them as sexy?
Oh, how strange. Well perhaps that's becasue you're not Antonio Rungi an Italian priest who is organising a Nun Beauty Contest
Yes, you read that right, a Nun Beauty Contest. This may seem slightly weird and a little hypocritical but the Roman Catholic Church is NOT hypocritical. They pretty much stick to bible, word for word although sheltering Nazi war criminals is a pretty broad interpretation of 'turn the other cheek'.
Anyway, more importantly, do you think they'll do the swim wear section? I wonder if they'll wear them under their habits and the judges will have to just use their imagination?
I bet they'll all be really good at the bit where they have to say what they would do if they won... "I would use my tenure as Miss Hot Nun 2008/9 to pray extra hard and maybe help other nuns be even more stern."
Do you think the Pope will be a judge? Perhaps with Peter Stringfellow and Hue Hefner? That would be great. Perhaps they could hold the final at the Playboy Mansion?
I don't know why I'm surprised. In a world where Tony Blair can be a Middle East Peace Envoy I should be no more surprised by this than I would by the BNP organising a Holocaust memorial dinner.
Penguin mocks Alan Sugar
A Penguin has been knighted.
I’m not going to bother writing much more about that. I very much doubt I could add anything to the comedic majesty of the simple truth that, once again, a penguin has been knighted.
You eye-ballin' my son?
Why? You don’t care.
How? Who knows? Does it matter? No.
The truth, if you can handle it and I don’t think you can but anyway, is that a penguin has been knighted. That’s a fact.
It’s brilliant on so many levels but mostly because it devalues the same honour, given to ‘Sir’ Alan Sugar, whose other achievements include being grumpy and losing money on inventions which no one wants.
Read about it here.
Comically Bankrupt
BNP favourite and none time funny man Jim Davidson is bankrupt. I suspect that if you asked him why, he would suggest that his 'comic' style was somewhat hampered by political correctness. Although he would be more likely to say something like "These days you can't even call a spade a spade without someone getting their kaftan in a twist".
Davidson is not the first 'comedian' to suffer from an inability to adapt to a changing social climate. In 1994 Bernard Manning was forced into poverty and resorted to selling layers of his fat for roof insulation to make ends meet.
In retirement Davidson will join a number of other ex-'entertainers' who's time has passed, including 'illusionist' Paul Daniels, perm-casualty Tommy Cannon, formerly of duo Cannon & Ball and below-par all rounder Brian Connolly. They will live out the remainder of their lives at a farm in Suffolk, housed in small wire cages in a barn and fed on the ground-up remains of other entertainers.